In this age of technology, we work hard to eliminate the human experience. Everything's all about pixels and gizmos. We have come to embrace isolation, our only portal to the outside world being a 1'x1.5' LCD screen.
So I say, what the hell! Everyone's doing it! Embrace the isolation. I mean, after all, it's just a part of life, right? I do have a partial solution, however, that contributes this big lie you've built up around yourself. I call it 'The Smelloscope'!
We've gotten to the point where can transmit sound over huge distances. We've even managed visual display. But no one's ever pulled off the digitization of a smell, stench, or even fragrance! That's where I come in. The Smelloscope is a state-of-the-art model with USB capability. Just hook it up and you're good to go!
But that's not even the best part - we're letting these Smelloscope towers go for only $8.99! That's right! It's yours for only $8.99 - plus shipping and handling. How so cheap? Well I'll tell ya. It's literally just cardboard and a bit of masking tape. A spritz of black paint and it's straight to the shelf. The finishing touch is a cut USB cord that lead deceptively into the base of the tower. And people think it works!
...Ehem, I've said too much, but seriously, try it and you'll see that the Smelloscope is right for you!
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